Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Out damn cyst, out!

I know I shouldn’t be freakin’ out about this, but at today’s ultrasound the doctor informed me that I have a 26mm cyst in one of my ovaries. Apparently it’s keeping the company of just one suitably-sized follicle, and I have one other suitably-sized follicle in my other ovary. So after 5 nights of injecting the derivatives of postmenopausal women’s urine in me, I’m hardly ahead of the game, right? I mean, I ovulate on my own every month anyway, so having one follicle is a given. One extra? I think the bonus prize of the cyst cancels out any added advantage one extra follicle might have supplied.

I suppose that after having been told that I still had a 29mm follicle in me on Friday, I should’ve expected this. But I didn’t. I just thought it would get washed away with my period. Thus, when oh-so-considerate doctor (not my regular RE) announced oh-so-nonchalantly the existence of said cyst, I was alarmed. And unprepared. I had been ready to make careful note of the various sized follicles growing in me, but the word “cyst” through me for a loop. The most knowledgeable question I came up with to ask the doc was “Is that bad?” How smart am I?

Her answer was hardly informative. She basically said it’s taking up space, that it will probably go away on it’s own but not this cycle. And then she said that it’s noted that I’ve requested to go through with this cycle because of scheduling conflicts (I had mentioned to the doc last Friday when she saw the large follicle that if I don’t cycle this month, I probably won’t be able to try again until Sept. due to my husband’s business trips). That only served to alarm me further as she made it sound like there still was a possibility that this cycle could be cancelled – a thought that had never entered my mind once I got the go-ahead last Friday. Of course, I always knew theoretically that cycles can be cancelled, but the clinic led me to believe it would be due to overstimulation, not because I happen to have an extra inch-long sac of fluid in me.

The more I think about this, the angrier I become. When Friday’s doc first found the 29 mm follicle, was it considered a cyst then? I think probably so. Yet that doctor must have deliberately used the word “follicle” and not “cyst” for a reason? Couldn’t today’s doc have taken the time to explain that Friday’s follicle is today’s cyst? This morning during the ultrasound I didn’t grasp that. Instead, all hope of success this cycle vanished. A moment or two of attention, a little education from the doctor could’ve helped. But she had a waiting room full of other infertiles to attend to, and left me and my cyst to our own devices.

3 Comments:

Anonymous P. said...

Finally Blogger is back up and I can post a comment to you!

I thought I would reciprocate and comment on your blog. I think we were reading each other's at the exact same time! I love your blog address and look forward to future posts! Sorry about this month’s cycle - I know how disappointing it is to have one bomb on you, especially with travel conflicts threatening to screw your next few cycles!

May 11, 2005 6:33 PM  
Blogger Internal Spring said...

Damn cyst. Too bad you can't get Ortiz in to your ute to smack it out of the ballpark.

May 11, 2005 8:07 PM  
Blogger Mellie said...

Thanks for the comments ladies! It's reassuring to have proof that people are reading this.

Internal Spring - I love your idea of getting Ortiz to smack it out. Or perhaps Damon. Don't think husband would like approve of either one of them visiting my ballpark though.

May 12, 2005 3:33 PM  

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