Friday, May 13, 2005

Friday the 13th

I used to consider myself lucky.

When I was around 6 we were on a family vacation in the Catskills and I won bingo. Not just regular 5-in-a-row any direction bingo, but hard-core 4 corners bingo. I don’t recall what exactly I received as a prize, but I remember walking up to the podium under the glare of hundreds of grown-ups and feeling pretty special.

I’ve entered radio contests and gotten free cds. At my old job I won a trip to San Francisco to help build a home with Habitat for Humanity. In 2001, I actually won a trip for 2 to Europe on a Contiki Tour Bus. And the next year I won cold hard cash from iwon.com. So, please understand there was some reason behind my thinking that I’d be one of the lucky ones when it came to getting pregnant.

But ever since I cashed that check from iwon.com, Lady Luck has been elusive (well, except for the Sox winning the Series). I’ve been dealing with the fact that good luck hasn’t happened while ttc, but must bad luck rear it’s ugly head?

You see, as one of my projects to keep my mind off our infertility D. and I decided to buy an apartment in Manhattan. We found a gorgeous one and are currently waiting for our mortgage application to be approved. So what happens to the backyard of my to-be-apartment building?

This.

The gods must be laughing. D.’s been talking to our mortgage broker and real estate attorney to figure out what we should do about it to cover our asses. All of a sudden, I became overwhelmed at the prospect of yet another thing that should have been simple becoming extremely complex.

But there’s nothing to be done about it at the moment. So I trudge along. Just as I trudge along through another IUI cycle. Today’s report: cyst has shrunk to 19.5, there’s a dominant follicle of 16.5, a 13.5 and I think a 10.5. Not triggering yet – go back tomorrow for more fun. Maybe I’ll find some good luck hidden along the way.

5 Comments:

Blogger K said...

Ugh, Mellie, how awful. Sometimes it certainly does feel like one thing after another...

May 13, 2005 4:06 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

I think you're due for some good luck soon. I can't believe that picture!

May 13, 2005 9:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sheesh. I am so sorry.

I'm right there with ya on the bad luck express. I've taken to wearing a four-leaf clover necklace every day. I figure even though it cost far too much, it certainly can't make things any worse.

Hang in there.

May 14, 2005 1:16 AM  
Blogger Suz said...

Oh no! I can't see the picture, but I can only imagine (which may be worse). I hope that everything works out.

May 14, 2005 4:54 AM  
Anonymous patricia said...

Oh, I know this feeling well. At times it felt like I was just waiting for the sky to fall right in.

It makes you kind of cynical and old feeling. I don't know if I can ever completely go back to hope and optimism, but I'm working on it.

May 14, 2005 12:27 PM  

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