Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Now.

My problem (okay, one of my problems) with the start of the two-week wait is that I always focus on the end of the two-week wait. I spend hours imagining telling D the happy news, figuring out how and when I’ll tell my parents, friends and co-workers. Then I switch gears and spend more hours determining what I’ll be going through next cycle, which day I’ll start drugs, when I’ll ovulate, when we’ll need to start having sex. Either way it’s bad because I’m focusing on the future and ignoring the now. And that has really become the worst side effect of infertility – I can rarely get myself to live in the moment.

Now I have a wonderful, loving husband to support me. Now I have a job I enjoy, it’s challenging, but not stressful. Now I have a strong family and fan-club of friends who adore me. There is so much to be happy about, but I have trouble seeing it. I really want to enjoy the now, because everything could be different in two weeks.


p.s. Thanks P., for telling me how to fix my page!

2 Comments:

Anonymous P. said...

I am glad that it worked!

You and I are so alike on the 2WW thing! I have tried SO many things to keep myself distracted: setting lunch dates every day, absorbing myself in work, planning elaborate meals to cook at night. Nothing seems to work. For some reason even when I am busy and "focused" on another task my mind seems to wander into the future. Let me know if you (or one of your other readers) comes up with a good suggestion for how to "stay in the now".

May 17, 2005 3:21 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

The first week isn't so bad for me. It's the second week where everything goes all to hell. "Luckily," I am starting a new job (at my same company) next Monday, so I hope I'll have something to take my mind off of week 2 of the wait.

The first week I can usually handle with shopping. ;-)

Good luck! We started the 2ww on the same day. I will also be testing 5/31.

susie
notahabit

May 17, 2005 7:15 PM  

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