Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Where Do I Go From Here?

Officially I’m 4 weeks, 2 days pregnant. Holy. I don’t really know what to do with that fact! I felt so informed and knowledgeable about the ttc process, and the various ARTs – but what do I do for the next (knock on wood) 9 months? I’m surprised that I feel so hopeful and sure. I expected to have much more anxiety. Granted, I worry about bad things going down, but NBHHY and I have no reason to expect it to.

I’ve been lucky with this IVF cycle. It seems to have gone according to textbook. I haven’t had any spotting or bleeding (again, knock on wood). Any symptoms I had I thought/think are really progesterone side effects: bad abdominal cramping and gassiness, mainly. I’ve been hungrier than usual, but I think that just might be psychosomatic.

Monday, while I was waiting and waiting and WAITING for the phone to ring with the results, I had worked myself up into thinking it hadn’t worked. That day I started having bad menstrual-type cramps. I had maybe had a couple here and there over the previous weekend, but on Monday they arrived in full force. When the nurse finally called after 4pm, I honestly was scared. It would have been much better if she had started the conversation of with a “Congratulations!” Instead the call went something like this:

Me (knowing exactly who was calling thanks to the wonderful technology of caller ID – and thankfully in my office alone since my assistant had stepped out for an appt): Hello?

Nurse: Is Melanie available?

Me: This is. (Simultaneously thinking –“Just tell me – tell me – yes or no? tell me!!!!”)

Nurse: Hi Melanie, I’m……..calling……….from………Cornell…….with………the……..results……….of……………your………….pregnancy…….….test. A long pause for response.

Me: Okay.

Nurse: Well………….your…………..HCG………… came………. Back………… ………………251. Which is a nice high number, so congratulations!

Me: (In a fair amount of disbelief) Thank you! Thank you!

The nurse then went on and gave me the estadiol and progesterone levels – which I wasn’t expecting at all. And she mentioned how the progesterone level was good, but on the high side so she was going to check with my doctor to see if I should reduce my nightly PIO dosage. She then asked who my doctor was and when I told her she said:

“I can’t believe it. He’s going to be SO mad that I called another one of his patients.” I then offered to pretend that she hadn’t called me – and secretly I’m glad the nurse called, because I had it in my head that a nurse would be calling if it was good news and my doctor if it was bad.

So, what’s next? I called my doctor’s assistant and scheduled an appointment for Friday, June 2 for a blood draw and my first pregnancy ultrasound. On Tuesday I’ll have another blood draw to make sure the numbers are doubling appropriately. After that, I don’t know what to do.

D is doing okay. He wasn’t particularly lovey-dovey or excited by the good news. He’s “happy that I’m happy” and I’m sure he’s majorly relieved that he doesn’t have to deal with a mopey Mel in his state – and that it finally worked. But as for the being excited about the result in itself – not so much. And that’s okay. You all are so sweet and encouraging with your kind comments, that it makes me feel supported. As have my real-life friends and parents who are thrilled beyond words.

Thanks for sticking with me this far. I hope all you fellow IFs who are currently pursuing treatment or are continuing to reach this moment soon.


Blogger Dramalish said...

I'm glad you're rolling along. Try not to worry about the cramps. Before and after I found out IUI #4 worked, I had HORRIFIC cramps that turned out to be constipation. Eek. But I was sure they were AF cramps.

And your DH will get there. I had a DH who was mildly pleased through my pregnancy (mildy at BEST!)... and mostly because I was happy. When our daughter got here he fell instantly and deeply in love and hasn't looked back.

Congratulations again. If I *do* get that job, I am totally doing a NYC theatre trip- especially since we'd have an insider to show us around. :)


May 24, 2006 4:33 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

I laughed when I read the second sentence. That's exactly how I felt...What do I do now?? I still feel that way. Congratulations :)

May 24, 2006 5:51 PM  
Blogger Millie said...

Congrats!!!!! Wishing you all the best for the next stretch of the journey.

May 24, 2006 6:58 PM  
Blogger Hopeful Mother said...

Totally true - it has to be a strange feeling now that you've gotten what you had been hoping for. I am so happy for you - congratulations!

May 24, 2006 8:47 PM  
Blogger Thalia said...

You're doing such a much better job than I am in being optimistic about this - well done! Do you know why your husband isn't more excited? Is it just not real yet? Am very excited for you.

May 25, 2006 3:52 AM  
Blogger Sunnie said...


I am at 4 weeks 6 days so our babies will be born around the same time! :)

May 25, 2006 4:22 AM  
Blogger MoMo said...

Mellie...this is such a special moment..enjoy it. I guess I can undertand how you it's hard to imagine you are at this point after everything you've been thru. I am so excited and happy for you! Hugs!

May 25, 2006 9:13 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

I am just still so hapy for you with this success!

I really hope that D comes around.

May 25, 2006 11:30 AM  
Anonymous LisaGray said...

This is all so good. Since we have the same RE, I had to chuckle when I read about the IVF nurse getting in trouble for telling you. I just imagine. Keeping my fingers crossed for you...

May 25, 2006 11:40 AM  
Anonymous Jennie said...

beautiful Beta Congratulations Mellie, very very happy for you.

May 25, 2006 12:59 PM  
Blogger Lut C. said...

D will come around. Most men need time to adjust when their wife is PG, I guess.

First u/s next week. The anticipation!
I'm glad the anxiety isn't too bad.

I'm not going anywhere any time soon. If you post, I'll read. :-)

May 25, 2006 1:56 PM  
Blogger Beagle said...

Hey if you can do this anxiety free . . . so much the better. Enjoy!

Funny how we all focus so much on IF treatments that none of us are ready with the how to be pg info if/when it happens.

You have plenty of time to read up on that. Congrats!


May 25, 2006 3:58 PM  
Blogger k #2 said...

Give D some DH lacked the enthusiasm I wanted also, but I truly think he was doing it to "protect" me just in case things went wrong. Men are certainly an odd species, aren't they? :)

I'm SO happy for you!

May 25, 2006 6:20 PM  
Blogger GZ said...

I hate the "happy that your happy" thing. Don't worry, I am sure his enthusiam will grow as it becomes more real to him. Meanwhile, I am happy (just plain happy) that you're pregnant!

May 26, 2006 5:03 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

I knew it would work - You'll be signing your baby up for the Red Sox "Kid Nation" (which I just did) before you know it - Congratulations!

May 26, 2006 10:14 AM  
Anonymous pixi said...

Great news, Mellie! Very excited for you.

May 26, 2006 12:26 PM  
Blogger Chee Chee said...

I am really happy about your good news! I am sure that D will come around, as soon as he has dealt with his own concerns and fears about his health and such.

May 26, 2006 1:28 PM  
Blogger Fertility Faux Pas said...

It is weird to go from being an uber-informed IVFer to a completely clueless preggo. I'm almost halfway through this pregnancy and I still don't know what I'm doing!

So glad all is well...can't wait to hear the update after your ultrasound!

May 26, 2006 3:01 PM  
Anonymous Beth said...

Mellie - I just have to say that this post made me grin from ear to ear. I am so very happy for you and hope everything continues to go textbook for you.

May 26, 2006 9:03 PM  
Blogger UtRus said...

loved your post. especially the part... where... it.... was... taking.... so.... long... for... the... nurse... to ... GET TO THE POINT! LOL so funny!

keep posting your details. love it. hugs

May 28, 2006 1:46 PM  
Blogger Sheryl said...

Well well... I go away for a couple of weeks and look what happens!


May 30, 2006 8:34 PM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

OK, now you are 5w2d, Mellie. Whats the scoop??

May 31, 2006 10:11 AM  

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