Friday, March 17, 2006

When I Run My Fertility Clinic

When I run my fertility clinic….

  • The moment the female partner is signed up for an HSG exam, the male partner will be required to meet with a urologist specializing in male infertility.
  • If you’re diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” and 7 IUIs didn’t work and you go through IVF and over 6 eggs are retrieved, I’m ICSI-ing half the eggs and leaving the other half to fertilize regularly.
  • There will be a complementary breakfast spread of Dunkin’ Donuts (‘cuz this is MY clinic and I prefer them to Krispy Kreme’s) and juicy, ripe fruit plus decaf and regular coffee, and a variety of tea available to all my patients who are in for their morning monitoring. And real milk and half & half will be available – none of that gross creamer-powder stuff.
  • There will be 2 separate waiting areas for the morning monitoring (each with the above spread): one with a child-play area so those patients bringing their children are separate from those adults that don’t want to see anyone under 20 while they’re cycling. The nurses will know where to find you when it’s your turn.
  • The doctor performing the wanding each morning will always, upon entering the exam room, extend his hand and introduce him/herself or say “Hello Patient’s name” if s/he has seen the patient before. The introduction is then always followed by asking “Do you have any questions for me?” before the doctor even touches the ultrasound wand.
  • After the u/s, the doctor will give a summary to the patient about what s/he’s seen, what s/he’s thinking the next steps will be, and general status update. This will be followed by another asking of “Do you have any questions for me?”
  • Phonecalls will be returned that day.
  • We will accept any insurance plans that cover our services (being out-of-network is stupid).

That’s just the beginning of course. I’m trying to keep it somewhat realistic. But I’m sure you all have your own ideas. So write ‘em in on the comments or make your own blog entry because I’d love to hear what else we could fix.


Blogger Fertility Faux Pas said...

Your clinic sounds divine. I'd go there in a skinny minute if it existed. I especially love the breakfast spread (since I am a total doughnut whore). Perhaps I should print this info and put it in my clinic's suggestion box?

March 17, 2006 2:37 PM  
Anonymous Molly said...


The lot of us could really create one hell of a clinic, couldn't we?

March 17, 2006 2:47 PM  
Blogger MoMo said...

I love your clinic!!

I will be the first one to sign up if it existed! Thanks for the great ideas!

March 17, 2006 3:15 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

A billing office that will actually fight your insurance company FOR you.

I'd go to your clinic just for the doughnuts. I love Dunkin' Donuts too.

March 17, 2006 3:31 PM  
Blogger Fertile Soul said...

Can lurkers sign up? Then sign me up. Could you also make it affordable? Not that i dont think you're entitled to what the rest of RE's are getting, but can you imagine if you made this affordable, how flooded your clinic would be? Seriously, it's something for clinics to think about. Basic economics. As the demand increases (and we all know the demand is increasing by virtue of the fact that infertility is on the rise) then the cost decreases.

I love dunkin donuts too!

March 17, 2006 6:15 PM  
Anonymous Lori said...

Brilliant! I'd switch in a heartbeat. And being a displaced Bostonian myself - Dunkin's is the way to go.
How about they write a quick summary for you to take with you so you don't forget stuff? A person doing chair massages for when they are running behind on appointments? Nothing like starting the day with a donut and a massage.

March 17, 2006 6:27 PM  
Blogger the waiting line said...

. . . sweet clinic.

add acupuncture on-site and, hey, if you've got someone passing out valium - I'm there! ;-)

March 17, 2006 11:12 PM  
Blogger Larisa said...

Amen. I will come, I will help you run it!

How about compassionate nurses?

The ability to email questions to the doctors?

Comfortable chairs!

March 18, 2006 7:53 AM  
Anonymous Jennie said...

just a suggestion for your clinic could dr's rooms be realistic I mean artwork is foine but when you know a picture hanging on the wall is worth more than your gross annual wage it's hard not to feel ripped off when your not even given soft tissues after a wanding session. oh and prior to application the cootercam gel is warmed up so as to avoid freezer burn in winter.

March 18, 2006 10:41 AM  
Blogger Dramalish said...

I LOVE your ideas... and quite frankly, I think you should print them up and deliver them to your current clinic, cause they make a tremendous amount of sense.

With the money we pay for these services, we deserve that kind of consideration.

You're so smart, Mellie.

March 18, 2006 11:06 AM  
Blogger fisher queen said...

You should print this and give it to your clinic. Especially the bit about ICSI and having your husband tested. That just made me furious for you.

I have the BEST nurse in human history since switching clinics- she returns calls that day, asks if I have questions, is compassionate and, is always accurate. She is like gold. The whole experience has been so much better because of her.

March 18, 2006 12:41 PM  
Blogger Sheryl said...

Oh I'm SOOOOOOO coming to your clinic!! Where to I sign up!?!?!? :)

March 18, 2006 3:32 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

How about a ban on those "success boards" with tons of overlapping baby pictures? Blankets and space heaters in the exam rooms. Real gowns made of soft flannel. I'm sure we can all think of more...

March 18, 2006 4:07 PM  
Blogger Mony said...

Make the clinic visit as pleasant as possible. Tastefully decorated rooms & comfortable seating. Can you have some soft music playing in the waiting room? That awful silence that hangs over the clinic creeps me out. And instead of outdated, trashy "celebrity" magazines to read in the waiting room....can we have a bookcase filled with lovely, sophisticated material? Be personal. Offer small complimentary items like hand-cream, mints, good quality tissues & emery boards. We pay enough! And who doesn't get a buzz from a freebie.

March 18, 2006 5:36 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

I think that there should be an onsite therapist so when everything goes wrong, there is someone there to help you. Otherwise you are just shooed out the door to deal with everything on your own.

March 20, 2006 12:04 AM  
Blogger Demeter said...

Oh, this idea sounds great. I would also add a bedroom like room where couples could spend some alone time for the hubby to do his deed with a little assistance from us, instead of the rest room in the building.
And better than email, I would also recommend that all patients have access to their REs through their black-berries so they can ask them any question at any time and have an instant response from them

March 20, 2006 3:56 PM  
Anonymous Jen said...

Great ideas! I'm all about the breakfast, too.

March 21, 2006 11:21 AM  
Blogger Vacant Uterus said...

Sign. me. up. That sounds divine! Especially the Dunkin Donuts part...I prefer them to Krispy Kreme, too.

March 21, 2006 2:13 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

dunkin is much better that KK.

and how about doctors who will give you real pain meds (not ibuprofin) before HSGs etc???

March 21, 2006 3:28 PM  
Blogger Chee Chee said...

I love your ideas! If you have to go thru IF, it would be nice to be treated with dignity and respect.

Take care!

March 22, 2006 11:10 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

I'm a recovered IF'er (moved to adoption) and was blessed with a good clinic that did some of these things, but I'd switch for the donuts in a heartbeat!!! And the ICSI would have saved us another failed cycle...

Where I live now I can't gete donuts at all. It's very sad.

March 22, 2006 9:06 PM  
Blogger Thalia said...

I second acupuncture onsite, and all the stuff about the docs introducing themselves. I did infact write a note to my clinic w suggestions including that one (shame I forgot the donuts) and they have got a lot better.

March 24, 2006 5:02 PM  
Blogger Sunnie said...

Be sure to add competent and kind front desk staff in your clinic....of the persuasion that look at you when you talk to them and don't mumble.

March 26, 2006 2:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There will be a separate bathroom for peeing, etc., and when I say separate I mean separate from the one with the (I am NOT making this up) TV/VCR combo on the sink, porn in the drawers and chair in the corner. Did I mention all the black scuff marks on the wall behind the chair? Now why would that chair shake so much? No idea.

April 04, 2006 9:59 PM  

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