Monday, June 12, 2006

7 weeks (But who's counting?)

I know I haven’t been writing. I'm sorry.

Part of it is due to typical IF survivor’s guilt, and part of it is that I’m scared to hang around the blogosphere. There’s too much bad and not enough good, and right now I don’t feel particularly well equipped to handle the bad. I’m trying so hard to maintain my optimism that this pregnancy of mine will be okay, that reading of others’ misfortune not only terrifies me, but makes me feel guilty for being a lucky one. And I feel bad about that, because I want to offer my support to those in hard times, but at the same time I don’t want to force them to think of me and the fact that (so far, knock on wood) I’m doing okay. So, please forgive me if I tend to be quiet for awhile…

As for the update for those of you that are curious:

Friday I had my second ultrasound, when I was officially 6w4d. There were indeed still 2 gestational sacs, and each sac had an embryo, each with a beating heart. One embryo measured perfectly on target at 6w4d, but the other one was behind, measuring only 6 weeks. It’s only a matter of a few millimeters, but the doctor said (as we all know) it could go either way. I keep telling the little one to stick around, but only time will tell. I return again on Friday to see what he decided to do.

Meanwhile, towards the end of last week typical pregnancy symptoms have started coming on strong. My breasts feel achy and tingly and the nausea has begun. In fact, for your pleasure I present my list of things that have made me gag or want to gag in the past 72 hours or so:

1. The juices spilling from a hamburger grilling
2. The smell of fried eggs in the morning
3. Brushing my teeth
4. Flossing my teeth
5. Riding a crowded subway
6. Putting a crochet hook in my mouth
7. Putting a pen in my mouth
8. JERSEY BOYS winning the TONY for Best Musical (okay that wasn’t morning sickness-y, but really, it makes me sick).


Blogger Suz said...

Jersey Boys won?!? We had to turn them off when they sang on the Today show to keep from barfing on the carpet.

My fingers are crossed that all goes well on Friday....

June 12, 2006 4:52 PM  
Blogger Chee Chee said...

Sorry about the symptoms but I am glad that all is going well thus far!

June 12, 2006 5:17 PM  
Blogger EJW said...

It's official, I'm moving you to my "Pregnant category." You know the rules on backwards motion, so good luck!

June 12, 2006 5:19 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

So happy for you. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the other guy is just a little "small" for his age and will still be there showing you up on Friday.

June 12, 2006 5:33 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

My baby B measured a full week behind until 12 weeks. At that point he measured on target, but Baby A is still a few days ahead. They told me it could go either way too, but not to count on anything. But it really does go the right way sometimes :)

Glad it was good news.

June 12, 2006 5:37 PM  
Blogger Avonlea said...

We all need your good news and no guilt - try for no guilt - I mean do you think the Red Sox felt guilty winning the world series? Come on. Allow yourself to feel some joy - that's what we wish for you most of all.

And though I'm not experienced myself, I understand ginger candy is terrific for nausea.

June 12, 2006 6:21 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Congrats! I just found your blog last week and wanted to wish you good luck! I also have twins and my son consistantly measured 4 days behind my daughter. At one point he almost caught up and then by 35 weeks she was 2lbs bigger. Depending on what kind of twins they are (fraternal vs. idenitical) they may not be same ever. Anyhow.. good luck and I'm wishing a happy ending for you!

June 12, 2006 6:37 PM  
Anonymous Lori said...

I'm so glad to hear that things are continuing to go well for you with both embryos. Great news!
As for the symptoms - brushing my teeth was and still is a tough one for me. I feel your pain on that one.

June 12, 2006 6:38 PM  
Blogger Colleen said...

Oh I hope you get more good news this friday! Please don't go away now, I love to read your (good)news and I have come out of lurkdom to tell you so!
Colleen C

June 12, 2006 7:13 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

I understand completely the need to be insular at the moment, I'm just so glad that when I come here, I get good news. NBHHY. I'll be checking back on Friday for the obligatory update!

June 12, 2006 10:33 PM  
Blogger sube said...

I'll be thinking of you and your two little Red Sox fans on Friday.

June 13, 2006 12:34 AM  
Blogger fisher queen said...

I'm glad to read your good news! Try not to worry about the smaller baby- I hear that is common with twins and they often catch up later.

June 13, 2006 7:38 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Please don't leave us! The universe needs balence.

I hope baby B sticks it out. GL on friday.

Finally, I long for the day when i can brush my teeth without gagging....

June 13, 2006 9:39 AM  
Blogger MoMo said...

Mellie-Congratulations this is great news. I also understand how you feel, I am often afraid to check blogs and feel guilty that I am where I am today--hang in there.

Good luck on Friday and I will be thinking of you and your twins!!

June 13, 2006 9:49 AM  
Blogger Hopeful Mother said...

Oh Mellie, don't worry about us - we really, really do need to hear the good news along with the bad out in the blogosphere. As someone else said, balance is essential.

Congratulations on your two babies, and I'll be especially thinking of your little one to "catch up."

Keep us posted!

June 13, 2006 12:06 PM  
Blogger Thalia said...

Congratulations Mellie, it's wonderful news. I do hope that little one catches up - Lori's and Jenn's both did. I was a bit worried when you didn't post. Not worried that things had gone badly for you, but worried that you were not in a good place re the blogworld. I guess I was right.

But sweetie, you are not the only person that good things are happening to (Liz, Amanda, MoMo have all seen heartbeats in the last week or so). Bless you for feeling the bad stuff, but we don't hold it against you. In fact, it keeps me going to see the good stories. It helps to know that it might all be worth it. So I hope you will keep sharing the good bits (and the ugly nausea type bits) as much as you can.

June 13, 2006 1:01 PM  
Blogger Mony said...

Gorgeous Girl! You take care of yourself and your precious cargo! It's about time you got to experience what it's like on the "Other" side of the fence. Any blogger who is familiar with your story is completely thrilled for you.
Gag Away sister!

June 13, 2006 8:16 PM  
Anonymous Kristin said...

New reader here...sounds like healthy twins to me with those symtoms. When I was pregnant with my twins (after 2 IVF's, not to mention a million other procedures) I gagged every time I brushed my teeth and the nausea...oh g*d the nausea. Amen, for the nausea!!!

Congrats, I'll keep checking in on you.

June 13, 2006 11:15 PM  
Blogger Just another Jenny said...

I am glad to hear that you are doing well. All the best for Friday.

June 14, 2006 8:44 AM  
Blogger the waiting line said...

welcome back! congratulations on your two growing embryos - I am so excited for you and will hope strongly that the little one hangs on.

love the gag list by the way! brushing your teeth has taken you there, huh? very funny (sorry). :-)

June 14, 2006 9:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shame on you. You expected support when you were in need before but now you cannot be there for the pain and loss of others? Shame, shame. Do you think your good luck (and that is all that it is) can be contaminated by others' pain and grief??

June 14, 2006 4:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi. I am sorry to butt in but i simply had to post a reply. Congratulatins to Mellie - it is fantastic news. I had my first baby after years of trying on Valentines day this year adn he is amazing. I totally understand how you felt - the guilt is unbelievable. The anon post who said you should be ashamed of yourself should rid herself of the bitterness and be happy for you.
Good luck and I hope you have a healthy and wonderful pregnancy.

June 20, 2006 6:21 AM  

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