Fears

In an attempt to thwart Catastrophe I’m laying out all the things I’ve been or currently am afraid of happening during this cycle. I hope that by the same principal that stops rain from falling if you bring the umbrella this will insure a problem-free cycle. And let me state now, I fully realize that most of these are ridiculous concerns, but that hasn’t stopped them from occurring to me.

1. I had been afraid of not calling someone or not filling out some required paperwork and therefore being postponed. So far that didn’t happen, but I did forget to return my signed consent forms today (since they didn’t take them when I did bring them last week, because I need to sign the research consent form at the same time as my husband with a witness present).
2. I was afraid I’d have an ovarian cyst and be postponed.
3. I’m afraid we’re mixing the wrong dosages. (Though I confirmed with the IVF nurses today that it is indeed 1cc of dilutent for the 2 vials of Repronex).
4. I’m afraid we’re using the wrong needles.
5. I’m afraid that something happened to the refrigerator (because D seems to think it went wonky for a bit) and it ruined the Lupron and Follistim.
6. I’m afraid that D is shaking the Repronex too much instead of “gently swishing” the vials.
7. I’m worried that D will continually forget to take his Doxycycline twice per day.
8. I’m afraid that D will not be able to successfully give a sample on retrieval day.
9. I’m afraid I’ll hyperstimulate.
10. I’m afraid I won’t produce any eggs.
11. I’m afraid I’ll run out of medication or needles and be left in the lurch.
12. I’m afraid we’re injecting the drugs too late in the evening – or at not a consistent enough time.
13. I’m afraid we’ll mess up the HCG shot and I’ll end up ovulating on my own before retrieval.
14. I’m afraid I’ve forgotten to take too many of my prenatal vitamins over the last month.
15. I’m worried that none of my eggs will be fertilized.
16. I’m afraid of having no embryos to transfer.
17. I’m afraid of getting blood during the PIO shots.
18. I’m afraid I’ll have spotting or bleeding before the beta test.
19. I’m worried about taking the call from the nurse with the beta results while at work, in an office I share with my assistant.
20. I’m worried that everything will go perfectly and it’ll still fail.

I am not afraid of the needles, the shots, or the thought of it actually working.

Meanwhile, I’ve gone through two nights of stim drugs, and jeez, my thighs are not holding up like I thought they would! I don’t know why the Gonadotropins are different then the Lupron, but I got to say each of my thighs is now bruised and feeling battered. Walking is a reminder of each injection. I’m thinking about moving the shots to the abdomen, but I can’t imagine that’s going to feel less painful.

And I got the results of my real day 3 blood draw and it’s all encouraging:
E2: 16
FSH: 3.9
LH: 3.4

So, that’s something. And I’ll get a call this afternoon with today’s results and further instructions.

Everything is moving right along. There’s nothing to be scared of. Right?