Thursday, February 02, 2006

Cycle Day 7/Day 5 of Stims

Today’s update brought to you by the letters I, V, and F and the number 15.

First, thank you for all your comments – it was reassuring to hear that I’m not the only one to worry her pretty little head over such things.

Second, I’m happy to report that things seem to be progressing well. My E2 on CD5 was 104 and rose yesterday (CD6) to 220. At yesterday’s ultrasound they saw 7 follicles on one side and 8 on the other, all less than 10mm. They cut back my Follistim after just 2 days from 150iu to 75iu, but I’ve been taking the same 2 vials of Repronex and 10cc of Lupron. I keep reminding myself that slow and steady wins the race, so I should just be patient.

But about those shots, let me just say the stomach was not a good idea for me. Granted, I had to give the shots to myself Wednesday night since D was working late (and when I write late, I mean to 11:30pm) and I’m not the expert he is. So maybe the ensuing pain was due to my poor technique, but I think I’m just sore for 2 days after the injections. EXCEPT that last nights’ shots, which D masterfully inserted in my left outer thigh, have left me with nary a complaint. Yesterday I felt like I was sucking in my breath all day and keeping a remarkably straight posture because I was so hesitant to have anything – including the waistband of my skirt – touch the injection site. So who knows? And honestly, it doesn’t really matter as long as the drugs are doing what they’re supposed to be doing.

And now, some waiting room stories.

I realize that I’m going to a top-rated clinic (statistically speaking) so I honestly don’t mind that it’s been around a 45 minute to 1-hour wait for an ultrasound. But this does mean I’m in the waiting room for a good period of time, usually with at least 50 other women and a handful of men. And despite the fact that I’ve been going to this clinic for over a year, and have gone through 7 IUI cycles with them, I’d yet to run into someone I knew in the waiting room. After all, this is New York City – where 7,000,000 people live and I don’t know anyone. But on my newly assigned cd3, as I’m sitting in the corner crocheting a square for a baby blanket, I recognize a man as he’s walking towards his wife. He’s not a friend or colleague, but he was an assistant to a professor of mine from my Master’s program and I had interviewed with him years ago for a job. I didn’t get it, but he did pass on my resume to a friend of his, and I did end up working for his friend. So, he too works in the small Broadway theater industry and I think he would remember me, but I’m not 100% positive. So while my first instinct was to go over and say hello, I then remembered where I was and thought “Oh my gosh – he’s straight?” (You have to realize, a straight man working in theater is in the minority) and thought it might be best to just hide in the corner and keep crocheting away. Which I did.

And yesterday morning, as I’m waiting a woman walks in to the office and sees a friend of hers – apparently someone she cares about but obviously hadn’t seen lately, nor expected to see – and issues a loud scream, and hugs the woman genuinely. I was thinking how strange it would be to run into an old friend in that office, when the woman’s name was called and she turned around and I saw that she was someone from my Masters program – a year ahead of me. Once she returned from her blood draw, she and her friend were preoccupied with each other and I made sure to keep my head down and focused on my crocheting.

So I wonder, if she hadn’t known someone else in the waiting room, would I have gone up to her and said hello? I think I would – but I can’t be sure. I wanted to with the husband as well, but I think a man would be more embarrassed about running into someone at a fertility clinic. (This makes me think of Chandler running into Janice in that silly “Friends” episode.) But why should there be any embarrassment? Isn’t that the problem with the fertiles of the world? That they don’t realize how prevalent infertility is? And don’t we all know that being infertile IS NOTHING TO BE EMBARASSED ABOUT?

On the other hand, maybe it’s not embarrassment that keeps us quiet. Maybe it’s the fact that having children is a personal choice, and not one that should be shared with just anyone. Maybe it’s that being infertile can be so distressing, that one would prefer not to talk about it. And maybe when you’re going through treatment, you want to avoid saying anything that may jinx the outcome.

7 Comments:

Blogger PortLairge said...

Your numbers are so good. That's great news. My husband and I bumped ino an old rugby mate of his in the waiting room last week. Then we saw him again at a rugby match over the weekend. He came over to say hi but looked a little uncomfortable. Yu sure don't expect to see your rugby mates in an IF clinic.Also, I have twice arrived at the clinic and known the new clerk behind the desk. I had wrked with both of them in the past.

February 02, 2006 2:45 PM  
Blogger zhl said...

I think we are about at the same stage in the IVF. I hope things continue to go well.

I don't think I would have spoken to anyone in the waiting room. I would have done the same thing.

February 02, 2006 3:37 PM  
Blogger Larisa said...

It sounds like you are making good progress.

The waiting room etiquette is one of those weird things. I'm dreading the day someone I know walks in - I'm sure it will happen. I've accidently heard names being read of other patients - people I know professionally. I don't think I would talk to them either, unless they initiated the conversation.

February 02, 2006 4:49 PM  
Anonymous Lori said...

I probaby wouldn't have said anything either. Though I haven't really seen many people in my clinic's waiting room. Just a couple coming or going but no one else sitting there waiting with me.

February 02, 2006 10:27 PM  
Blogger Mony said...

You just don't feel like small talk in the waiting room. It's so quiet. Everyone hears you. I can barely speak with my husband, knowing that everyone is listening! Things seem to be going great Mellie! You are coping well, thinking of you heaps.

February 03, 2006 5:01 AM  
Anonymous thalia said...

I've only spoken to ppl in the waiting area a few times, it just doesn't seem to be a chatty place. But if I met someone I knew I'd have to talk to them as our clinic isn't that busy. I'm somehow not in the mood to talk to anyone at that point, although I agree with you that it is NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT.

Great numbers btw

February 03, 2006 1:39 PM  
Blogger Lut C. said...

There is nothing to be embarassed about, but still I don't want to run in to acquaintances in the clinic. It's just another measure of control you lose, who to tell about your struggles, and who not.
Granted, a fellow IF should be sympathetic, but not all of them are, nor are all of them discrete.

February 04, 2006 2:43 PM  

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