Sunday, June 18, 2006

Doris Day Had It Right

The good news is that embryo #1 looks “perfect” to quote the doctor. Heartbeat was at 151 bpm and on my 7w4d (s)he measured 7w2d, or 11.7mm. Isn’t (s)he just adorable?

The sad news is that it doesn’t look like embryo #2 will stick around. (S)He only grew a little bit (not enough apparently for my RE to bother measuring), and the heart rate was well under 100 bpm – so on screen it just looked like a flatline. It saddens me, but que sera, sera. Part of me feels a little responsible for its demise – as if perhaps my being scared and worried about a twin pregnancy had an effect. I know that is crazy and stupid and not at all true, but we all know how emotions don’t listen to reason.

On the other hand, I’m feeling better today than I was on Friday. Less upset, more hopeful and excited. I’ve been reminding myself that the RE’s goal of an IVF cycle is a singleton live birth. A vanishing twin this early in the game shouldn’t have any impact at all on the remaining embryo. Apparently it happens 30% of the time. And honestly, if I get a healthy baby 32 weeks from now, I’ll have won.

So, I’ve been released from my RE’s care. I’ve been relieved of PIO injection duty. I actually made it through 6 weeks of IM injections without a single lump in my tush. My first appointment with a plain old Ob/Gyn is 6/28. Until then, I just have to take things as they come. Whatever will be, will be.


Blogger Susie said...

Congratulations on graduating from the RE. I really hope things go well for you.

I was sad about the demise of my second embryo, too, but now I feel like things worked out best for us. Of course I would have loved to have two babies, but I don't feel like things should have been different, or anything like that.

Good luck, good luck, good luck. Let us know how you are doing.

June 18, 2006 2:58 PM  
Blogger EJW said...

It is truly bittersweet, but overall a happy day.

Don't be shocked when your OB is overwhelmingly optimistic. When they requested I make appts for now through 32 weeks, I couldn't believe their hubris.

June 18, 2006 3:09 PM  
Blogger MoMo said...

Mellie--sorry to hear about embryo #2--I know it is hard. But I am glad that embryo #1 is looking good and healthy!! Also congratulations on graduating from the RE and no more PIO injections!!! Thinking of you. Hugs!

June 18, 2006 3:33 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Mellie - I am sorry to hear about the 2nd embryo - but congratulations on the graduation!

June 18, 2006 4:23 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

Mellie it's a shame about the 2nd embryo but I am so happy for you for having a "perfect" embryo. You're right, if you have a healthy, happy baby then you will have won. I am very happy for you.

June 18, 2006 4:31 PM  
Blogger Lut C. said...

It's a mixed emotions kind of situation. I believe I would feel the same.

I hope this turns out to be the only bump in the ride. Good luck.

June 18, 2006 6:00 PM  
Blogger Dramalish said...

I'm sorry peanut #2 didn't stick like we'd hoped. Please remind yourself of "reason" when feeling anything like guilt. You are doing amazingly, and you should recognize that!

I'm so excited for you and your "perfect" embryo! Grow, grow, grow little baby!

June 18, 2006 7:08 PM  
Blogger Millie said...

Congratulations, you grad you. I'm sure it must be bittersweet. Wishing you all the best.

June 18, 2006 7:22 PM  
Blogger the waiting line said...

wow, that is a lovely ultrasound.

best, best wishes!

June 18, 2006 7:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

first, sorry for the loss of the 2nd little wee one.

second, congratulations on the great news of wee one #1.

you have been through a lot and you deserve to dance a happy dance with this news. congratulations again...i dance with you!

June 18, 2006 9:42 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

I'm glad everything looks good with embryo #1. And I'm so sorry to hear about embryo #2.

June 18, 2006 11:39 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

Even as I'm sorry to hear about the second embryo, I'm so, so, so glad that all is well with the first.

June 19, 2006 9:19 AM  
Blogger fisher queen said...

Mixed news, but I'm so glad #1 is looking good!

June 19, 2006 9:59 AM  
Blogger electriclady said...

Sorry to hear about #2, but I'm so glad #1 is doing so well. And happy graduation!

June 19, 2006 10:02 AM  
Blogger k #2 said...

Mellie -- Bittersweet news indeed...but what a positive reminder to look at that beautiful picture of your little baby! Congrats on graduating to the "big" doctor!

June 19, 2006 11:18 AM  
Anonymous Molly said...

Sorry for the one twin's apparent loss. Hopefully the other twin will have double the strength and vigor, and 32 weeks from now you can have a truly joyous day.

June 19, 2006 11:32 AM  
Blogger Hopeful Mother said...

Mellie - sorry about the second embryo. It is a bittersweet moment.

I am so happy that embryo #1 is going strong and that you've graduated to the OB.

I hope you enjoy the lack of PIO injections!

Thinking of you!

June 19, 2006 11:45 AM  
Blogger M said...

Congratulations for being released from the RE and for no more PIOS! :) Big sigh of relief. I do apologize for the vanishing twin. Mine didn't even make it to 8 weeks. It started going by the wayside around week 6.
My dr. said I am much better off this way, physically, to just carry one baby. He didn't want to see me with twins. Sometimes things work out.

June 19, 2006 1:19 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

Que sera, sera indeed. What a wonderful way to look at it, I'm so glad you are moving into the realm of a "normal" pregnancy now.

June 19, 2006 2:33 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Mellie-Very sorry to hear about embryo #2. Very good news that #1 is a champion. COngrats on graduating, and good luck at the OBs. There will be many pregnant women there, breath and it will be OK.

June 19, 2006 4:53 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Congratulations Mellie! What fantastic news. I know exactly how you feel about the guilt because we just had a positive ultrasound too. It seems weird to be jumping up and down for joy when so many others out there are dealing with their own pain of loss. I am excited for you and hope that things continue to progress!

June 19, 2006 5:25 PM  
Blogger sube said...

Bittersweet news, I'm sure. But congrats on #1. It's still a home run.

June 19, 2006 7:45 PM  
Anonymous Jen said...

Mellie, I'm so sorry about the potential loss of the second baby, but I am glad to hear that the other embryo is thriving.

June 19, 2006 11:45 PM  
Blogger Beret said...

It *is* bittersweet to lose one but keep another. It happened to me in week 9 and I thought I was having a miscarriage. When they did an u/s they found I did lose a baby, but there was another one in there doing well. It was such a relief. I felt guilty for not feeling worse about the one we lost. But having a healthy embryo growing is just so wonderful. Congratulations.

June 20, 2006 5:51 AM  
Blogger Thalia said...

I'm glad that baby number one is doing so well. No fears about that embryo, thank goodness. And I am very sorry about the likely loss of its twin. I know a singleton pregnancy is much to be preferred, but still, a loss is a loss is a loss. Thinking of you.

PS And I want to know your secret of no lumps - I am still lump ridden!

June 20, 2006 4:48 PM  
Blogger Kris said...

I'm sorry to hear about the loss. But I'm so very glad to see one healthy babe in there. And congrats on the graduation! I can't believe it actually happens.

June 20, 2006 6:30 PM  
Anonymous Lori said...

Great news about embryo #1!
But of course, I'm sorry to hear about embryo #2.

June 20, 2006 9:45 PM  
Blogger Janice said...

What a beautiful ultrasound! I am sorry to hear about embryo #2 though. Congrats on graduating from the RE. Good luck!

June 25, 2006 11:23 AM  

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