Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Time Marches On

Today I’m technically 11weeks, 2 days pregnant. I have good days and bad days, nausea-wise. On Saturday I had my first public puking incident. I haven’t had any scary spotting incidents (knock on wood). And I met with a real live OB/GYN for an actual first OB prenatal appointment.

The OB appointment was fine. My doctor was particularly concerned about me (or any of her patients) putting on too much weight. She recommended avoiding fruit juices and plain carbohydrates. As a pretty petite girl, I told her that honestly I was more concerned about not putting on enough weight. So, that’s the first piece of doctorly advice I’m ignoring.

She also asked me (again, because I’m a mere 5’0 tall) what my shoe size was! Thankfully, my answer of 6 was a good one – apparently if my answer had been 5, she would have been more worried about my ability to have a vaginal delivery.

Other than those out of the ordinary traits, the visit seemed pretty standard. She gave me a bunch of brochures on the various tests I can have done (I guess I’m considered to be of “advanced maternal age” since if all goes well I’ll be 35 when I deliver this baby). Blood was drawn, and a urine sample taken. And I had a pap smear and an ultrasound.

The ultrasound showed that embryo #2 had gone away. No more heartbeat. No yolk sac. Just the sliver of an empty, black, thin gestational sac next to the full one with a healthy, on-target size-wise embryo with a strong heart beat. It’s amazing how #2 just vanished without a symptom or sign. And it’s amazing to me that #1 is on board.

So, I’m pretty happy these days - tired a lot, but happy. My parents are over-the-moon. My friends are thrilled for me. D, however, not so into this.

He’s had a tough time of it work-wise, lately. July 4th was his first day off in months – literally. He’s not what one would call “involved” with the pregnancy. As an example, he went out with some friends last week whom he had told of our successful IVF soon after we found out. They, of course, asked him how far along I was and when I was due. D had no idea. Honestly and truly couldn’t give an answer.

I’m surprisingly okay with that, at least for now. I know my girlfriends think it’s bad and are worried about me/us – but I’ve tried to explain that this is how D & I work. I do the planning, whether it’s for our wedding, a vacation, moving into a new apartment – and if I need D I let him know. It doesn’t mean that this is how things will be once there’s an actual other human being to take care of. It’s just how things are now.

Sure, I’d love it if he wanted to read how the embryo was growing every week and how big it should be now, but he doesn’t want to know that. He wants everything to be okay and tries to help me if I’m feeling sick, and for now, I’m happy taking it all as it is.

18 Comments:

Blogger EJW said...

My husband is the same way, although I think he does know my due date (mostly because there's a possible tax break). As long as everything is OK and I feel fine, he just goes about his day. I suspect that once things are further along and he can feel the baby, he'll get more involved.

July 12, 2006 7:05 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

George never really knew how far along I was - all he cared about was that everything was okay. However, he's a very involved dad! Glad that all is well.

July 12, 2006 7:22 PM  
Anonymous Z said...

so glad to hear that all is going well. about the doc's advice to stay away from the sweets and starches...i'd follow it. the doc is probably just trying to avoid gestational diabetes. and believe me that is a good thing. being kept away from my favorite foods was HELL...but well worth it for the health of my baby girl! you don't have to totally stay away just be careful about your intake.

July 12, 2006 10:01 PM  
Blogger Dramalish said...

Mell...
I promise D will get more involved. It may not be a whole bunch... but he WILL get excited. Remember though, it takes 9 months to form this little guy, so it will probably take as long for DH to come to terms with it.

That's how it worked with J, at any rate.

And Mel.. he LOVES that little girl. Like CRAZY, WILDLY loves her.

So no worries.
-D.

July 13, 2006 1:57 AM  
Blogger MoMo said...

Mellie--it is so nice to hear from you! Hang in there...D will come around-guys are just so much slower with all the emotional stuff compared to us. Thinking of you!

July 13, 2006 10:23 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

so glad to hear that things are going well. one more week and you get moved into a different category on my blog...i can't believe how fast your first trimester has gone. it is funny how your prespective is different when it is someone else's pregnancy. best of luck moving forward!

July 13, 2006 11:51 AM  
Blogger Hopeful Mother said...

Mellie, I'm so glad to hear that things are going OK and that you haven't had too many public puking incidents!

Wishing you all the best for continued health of you and the baby!

July 13, 2006 12:32 PM  
Blogger Janice said...

Mel, glad to hear that you had a good OB appt. Hope you're doing a little better with the morning sickness. I remember feeling nauseous constantly in the beginning of my pg. Sometimes I would wish I would just throw up and get it over with. But I never did. My husband got more into my pregnancy near the end and now loves our little boy to death. I'll be following your blog to hear how you are doing!

July 13, 2006 12:38 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

Mellie I am glad to hear that you are doing well. So sorry to hear about the second embryo but so happy to hear how healthy the other one is. I am 5'0 and have size 5 feet and now your comment has me scared (not that it may ever matter but you know we can stress about irrelevant pregnancy information)

July 13, 2006 1:49 PM  
Blogger electriclady said...

So funny about the shoe size--why on earth would she want to know that?!? Mellie, I wonder if we have the same OB--mine is notorious (on urbanbaby.com message boards, for example) for giving her patients big lectures about fruit and carbs and gaining too much weight.

And I'm sure D is happy and excited in his own way (which you didn't need any of us to tell you!). Some people--men or women--want to know all the details, and some don't. A girlfriend of mine never read a single pregnancy book, and she has TWO kids! (Can you guess that she's a super fertile?)

July 13, 2006 2:16 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

As long as you are content with the way things are, that's all that matters. Just like raising a child, going through a pregnancy is a very personal thing, and despite the fact that there are a gazillion books and opinions on how to do it "properly", only you know what works best for you. Everytime I see a surfer I think of you, my friend.

July 13, 2006 3:08 PM  
Blogger the waiting line said...

I am so happy for you. Glad you're happy too! It's nice to read that for a change - as you know, most of our blogs are not always so upbeat. So thanks for posting about the bright side! :-)

July 14, 2006 11:54 AM  
Blogger Fertility Faux Pas said...

My husband is the same way too. But I think he may have turned a corner. I just recently caught him perusing through one of my Fit Pregnancy magazines the other day. See? There's hope for these guys yet!

July 14, 2006 11:59 AM  
Anonymous Jen said...

Oh Mellie, I'm so glad that the little one is doing well, though I'm very sorry about the loss of #2.

As for the weight gain--I wasn't cautioned about gaining too much weight, but the docs all seemed thrilled when I gained very little (15 lbs., and I was a fairly petite girl to begin with). However, knowing now that my little guy was so small (under 6 lbs, born at 39 weeks), I think I would have tried a little harder to gain a little more weight. Everyone is different, obviously, but that's just my 2 cents. Best of luck!

July 14, 2006 3:12 PM  
Blogger Mony said...

Men are strange creatures.
And that is enough about that.

Thanks for updating.....I was wondering where you were.
Take care Mellie....don't stay away too long :)

July 14, 2006 8:00 PM  
Blogger k #2 said...

my dh was pretty similare. he wouldn't really talk @ the pregnancy and didn't seem to even want to hear details or developmental feats as we progressed. I wished he was more "interested" but also knew that was him.

But, the minute our dd was born, he sobbed and hasn't been the same since. I can understand why it isn't the same for men since they aren't carrying the baby. DH changed almost all the diapers for the first week and everyday talks about how he can't believe he was worried about her coming. He is in love and I am sure your man will come around when the little one arrives. Glad all is going well.

July 15, 2006 11:22 AM  
Blogger Mel said...

You are getting really close to your 2nd trimester. Hopefully you won't be as tired and the nausia will go away too. Congrats!

July 16, 2006 7:29 PM  
Anonymous Andrea said...

To my fellow Sox Fan- I live in the Boston area and have also had the HSGs, IUIs, IVFs (and a few ectopics thrown in for good measure)It was also aggravating for me because at age 36 (now 37) I wasn't producing many follicles- 5 the 1st time w/ 3 fertilized and 3 the 2nd time w/ 1 fertilized. Low and behold - miracle occurred- thd 2nd IVF worked! I am now at 24 weeks- which I think is pretty close to you. Just like w/ the Sox; faith and determination work! Hope everything goes well.

November 11, 2006 11:24 PM  

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