Wednesday, August 10, 2005

5 Days Til Beta

There are strange crampy feelings happening in my uterus. At least, I think it’s my uterus. It feels as it does on cd1 when my period is just beginning. On the other hand, if a doctor told me it was actually my stomach and they were gas pains I wouldn’t be shocked. But it doesn’t feel that way. It feels like the start of menstrual cramps. Which it can’t be because I’ve been dutifully inserting the lovely progesterone suppositories twice a day. Thus, I’m stuck wondering if these could possibly be those cramps that pregnant women say they felt before knowing they were pregnant. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom and check if anything’s goin’ on down there.

I just want to be pregnant. Duh!

I think because I re-read Donnie’s posts today from her successful iui experience I’m trying to will myself to have the same outcome. These are probably just psychosomatic symptoms.

I’ve been trying not to dwell on the upcoming beta (on the 15th for those of you keeping track at home). Tracking down the discontinued kohler sink I want for my bathroom as well as trying to keep up my productive-ness at work has kept me pretty busy and serves as a great distraction, as does my daily devouring of the Boston Globe Sports Page. (Can anyone believe the Sox are still in first place? It’s been such a fun season to follow so far.) And we’re going to the in-laws this weekend. So it’s not that I’m sitting around not doing anything, but damn, these cramps are making it hard to think about anything else.

Let it be known that I firmly believe that these kinds of “symptoms” are not indicative of anything - except that Hope is obviously still guiding me. The question is am I being led down the garden path?


Blogger Susie said...

Hang in there, Mellie. I am hoping for you.

August 10, 2005 10:35 PM  
Blogger K said...

I know how those last days til beta can seem like an eternity... I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

August 11, 2005 12:04 AM  
Blogger k #2 said...

Hoping those twinges are the GOOD ones! Here's to hoping our next 3 days 22 hours and 4 minutes go quickly (yeah, right)!

August 11, 2005 9:56 AM  
Blogger P. said...

I'll be thinking about you over the next five days! I really like the sink you picked out, hope you are able to find it!

August 11, 2005 11:12 AM  
Anonymous Molly said...

Ooo, I love that sink. I'm thinking of you.

August 11, 2005 11:23 AM  
Blogger Dramalish said...

Darling Mellie,
Too chic sink! Very cool.
Feel free to take inspiration from me ANY time. I was certain, and I mean pretty dang certain that what I was feeling was menstral. If you'll recall, I was even mapping out dates for my next cycle.
Life is weird, and one thing I've learned from my own experience, and the experiences of all my sisters in bondage, is this: You can never tell.
You just can't. I know there is this mythical idea that "We as women know our bodies, blah, blah, blah," but I just look at the astonishing windfalls and the unexpected tragedies and see that we just don't know.

I hope you are utterly taken aback with joy on the 15th. :)


August 11, 2005 12:19 PM  
Blogger Jamila said...

15th. *making note* I will keep everything crossed for you until then, and hope on here promptly to hear your good news that day!

August 11, 2005 5:52 PM  
Blogger Larisa said...

I'm sending lots of positive vibes your way. I hope this is it for you.

August 11, 2005 10:42 PM  
Blogger Chee Chee said...

Good luck hon. I am hoping that you will receive great news on the 15th.

August 12, 2005 5:12 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

I had the same crampy feeling and am truly hoping the best for you.

August 12, 2005 5:51 PM  
Anonymous elle said...

i had same crampy feeling - my uterus was dancing - it was from Clomid. (BFN) Have it again this month, post Clomid, not sure outcome yet. Hope yours is good news!

August 12, 2005 7:26 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

I gotta go with Donnie on this one -- I honestly don't think there is any way to know if you are pregnant or not at this stage. Assuming you are, the stuff that is going on is microscopic! Of course, everyone is different and maybe you're one of those super-sensitive types, but there ain't nothing wrong with letting hope be your guide.

August 12, 2005 9:29 PM  
Blogger Spanglish said...

I hope that all your twinges and pains are due to the electric growth of the uterus for the little blast to settle in. You're in my thoughts and I'm hoping the very best for you.

August 13, 2005 10:01 AM  
Blogger said...

i just have to say that if you want someone to read your post, a good way to start it off is with, "There are strange crampy feelings happening in my uterus."

i think i might start my new post with it! hehe

August 13, 2005 10:10 AM  
Anonymous Brenda said...

Hoping those twinges are good things going on in there.

Love the sink! But then again, I love anything called Cabernet. ;) BTW, congrats on becoming a homeowner.

**Pacing floors for you until the 15th**

August 13, 2005 7:22 PM  

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