Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Lady In Waiting

This is the ultimate 2-week wait. Not only am I counting down the days until beta testing (12), I’m anxiously awaiting the apartment closing (in 3 days) as well as waiting for word if and when D will be leaving for San Francisco. And for good measure, throw in the wait for the contractor to start the apartment renovations, the wait to buy the new fixtures and furniture I want (since I want to own the place before purchasing things for it), and the wait to actually move in to the apartment. Even at work, we’re stuck waiting for a certain playwright to let us actually announce that we’ll be producing his play this fall; which means I’m waiting on making the official offers to designers and waiting to draft the actual contracts.

I know that all of a sudden things are going to start happening. The waiting will end and a new stage of life will unfold. But for now, I’m stuck in the eternal limbo of waiting. I’m incapable of acting on anything and unable to deal with anyone at the moment. I don’t want to call my friends or run into people on the street. I can barely respond to e-mails. I can’t focus on work for long periods. I just feel so consumed on what’s happening to me that I can’t summon the energy to listen to someone else. It’s not a great place to be in.

13 Comments:

Blogger Donna said...

Sometimes its best to become a hermit for a little bit while we sort things out for ourselves. No explanations required.

August 03, 2005 4:34 PM  
Blogger K said...

Limbo can be tough, I hope you get some good answers soon!

August 03, 2005 5:09 PM  
Blogger Spanglish said...

Mellie I hope ALL your waiting brings ALL good news. We'll be here waiting with you. I marked my calendar with a tiny "m" for your beta. I hope this is it for you!

August 03, 2005 7:09 PM  
Blogger k #2 said...

Oh the dreaded 2ww...I hate it too! I find myself being that dreaded hermit so much lately...especially since my BF just announced she's PG after 2weeks off BCP. I am really working at staying out of my shell to try to help this 2ww go faster. Hang in there!

August 03, 2005 7:47 PM  
Blogger Dramalish said...

Waits are killer FOR SURE.
While I was in one of my many waits, my friends/husband/family would suggest things to do. I'd shrug, give a dimissive wave, and say something like: "Eh. I really don't feel like doing stuff with things or people."

I hope, hope, hope your waiting proves fruitful. Good luck, girl.

-D.

August 03, 2005 10:07 PM  
Anonymous Z said...

the wait can be a killer but all the things going on sound exciting. hope you get some great news after all the waiting!

August 03, 2005 10:48 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

Sometimes withdrawing is the healthiest way to deal with other people. And goodness knows, the 2ww is stressful enough without all this other waiting going on. Just do what feels right to you, you'll get through it. My fingers are crossed for you.

August 03, 2005 11:43 PM  
Anonymous thalia said...

Crap tv. That's the only thing that works for me. Or non-trashy chick lit like jennifer weiner.

August 04, 2005 10:35 AM  
Blogger Chee Chee said...

You are going through such a stressful time right now. I agree with Donna. It is great to take some time for yourself and focus on you. Hopefully, after all of the waiting is over, you'll be in a better place physically, emotionally and otherwise.

August 04, 2005 2:53 PM  
Anonymous korin said...

I totally know how you feel! This is my final 2ww before we begin IVF.. and it seems so.... big.
::fingerscrossed!::

August 04, 2005 3:06 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

Oh! I agree with Thalia. Crap TV and movies are "it" for me, but I have to knit to keep my hands busy. I have my fingers crossed for you during your wait.

August 04, 2005 8:49 PM  
Blogger Larisa said...

I hope this wait is your last in ttc land. Be a hermit if you need to!

August 06, 2005 10:04 AM  
Blogger Internal Spring said...

Mellie, I'm sorry you're waiting for so many things at once.

August 07, 2005 8:35 PM  

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