Thursday, September 15, 2005

A Brief Update

I’m sorry I haven’t been posting. I’ve been hiding for various reasons.

Part of the reason for the absence was due to being overwhelmed with moving into a new apartment with D out of town; part of the reason was because, with D out of town, there was no ttc stuff to discuss; and part of it, I hate to say, is because it’s hard for me to read the pregnancy blogs. I am so very hopeful and happy for all the former Infertiles who found their way off the island – but reading of their progress is, for me, like watching the end of the World Series when the Red Sox didn’t even play: I like watching the enthusiasm and joy on the players faces, but it’s not the same as when my team wins.

The good news in my life is that I am settled, if not unpacked, in a fabulous, large apartment and much of the moving/renovation hassles are done. I believe that today is the final day of work in the apartment. We have much to do in setting the place up and buying new furniture, but the move/work related stress is done.

The bad news is that I turn 34 next week and am rather depressed by the thought that I’m not any closer to having the family I so crave. I’m done with the IUIs. I’m trying to decide if I should bother temping and using the fertility monitor these next few months while I wait to go on D’s insurance and prepare for IVF in January.

And I’ve been worried about my menstrual cycle. Last month I must have spotted every day the last 2 weeks of my cycle – which itself only lasted 23 days. And my period this month only lasted a few days. Is all that a physical manifestation of my declining fertility?

So that’s where things are with me. I apologize if I alarmed anyone. When I have news to report I promise I’ll go back to posting more frequently. And I will be checking in on each of you too, because, despite what I wrote earlier, I do want to see each of you holding your own prize.


Blogger Spanglish said...

MELLIE!! I've MISSED you so much. I'm glad you're back in blog land, though I'm sorry you're feeling blue. How are things with the apartment? Are you having fun buying stuff for it?

September 15, 2005 6:03 PM  
Anonymous thalia said...

Hey there. So glad you're back. I'm not pregnant so you can come read my blog safely for at least the next 2 months when you feel up to it (that's how long the IVF cycle will take).

September 15, 2005 7:00 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

Glad you're ok. Do we get to see pics of the new place?

September 15, 2005 8:40 PM  
Blogger K said...

I'm so glad you're back. I'm sorry you're feeling so down. DO you feel settled yet, really? It seems to take me so long to adjust to a new home. We just got here in March and I still don't feel comfortable. Perhaps it's since we'll be leaving in the spring...

Hope you'll post more often!

September 16, 2005 2:20 AM  
Blogger Susie said...

Hey, I've missed you. I'm glad to see you post.

September 16, 2005 6:06 AM  
Blogger Sheryl said...

Welcome back!! Yes, pictures of the new apartment would be great!!

September 16, 2005 8:32 AM  
Anonymous Molly said...

So glad you're back!

I'm also not pregnant and a safe read. I'd love to see pics of the new place too.

September 16, 2005 11:11 AM  
Blogger Chee Chee said...

It's good to see you back! Good luck with the new apartment.

September 16, 2005 12:06 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

I'm never going to be pregnant, so feel free to visit me anytime. Glad you are back and in a fabulous new apartment.

September 16, 2005 2:03 PM  
Blogger k #2 said...

Yeah! You're back. I can relate to feeling blue about reading others blogs, but I find it gets me through my days. Knowing I am not alone on this IF island. I have my 30th b-day tomorrow and am facing the same sadness as you are with another milestone reached without a child. When does this get easier?

Sounds like your apartment is falling in to place. Awesome!!! Is D back in town? Welcome back!

September 16, 2005 8:34 PM  
Anonymous Brenda said...

Hey hon, post when you want... we will be here whenever you need us. Glad you are all settled in the new apt. So IVF in Jan? Sounds like a few of us are going to be right there cycling together...

Thinking of you... good luck getting through all the boxes. ;)

September 18, 2005 3:24 AM  
Blogger April said...

Glad you're back, and congrats on the new place. I know how hard it is to get settled in (we moved cross country nearly 2 months ago and are *still* not unpacked all the way).

It's o.k. for it to be hard to read "those" blogs. We all have those moments, or at least I like to think we do!

September 18, 2005 12:15 PM  
Blogger Larisa said...

I am SO glad you are back. I'm glad you've been busy, and not just ignoring us needy girls.

Hope the new place is working out!

September 18, 2005 3:36 PM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Mellie, it is NEVER going to happen at my place so feel free to lounge around in safety! Hope you feel a bit better soon. Take care of you.

September 23, 2005 3:58 PM  

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