A Brief Update

I’m sorry I haven’t been posting. I’ve been hiding for various reasons.

Part of the reason for the absence was due to being overwhelmed with moving into a new apartment with D out of town; part of the reason was because, with D out of town, there was no ttc stuff to discuss; and part of it, I hate to say, is because it’s hard for me to read the pregnancy blogs. I am so very hopeful and happy for all the former Infertiles who found their way off the island – but reading of their progress is, for me, like watching the end of the World Series when the Red Sox didn’t even play: I like watching the enthusiasm and joy on the players faces, but it’s not the same as when my team wins.

The good news in my life is that I am settled, if not unpacked, in a fabulous, large apartment and much of the moving/renovation hassles are done. I believe that today is the final day of work in the apartment. We have much to do in setting the place up and buying new furniture, but the move/work related stress is done.

The bad news is that I turn 34 next week and am rather depressed by the thought that I’m not any closer to having the family I so crave. I’m done with the IUIs. I’m trying to decide if I should bother temping and using the fertility monitor these next few months while I wait to go on D’s insurance and prepare for IVF in January.

And I’ve been worried about my menstrual cycle. Last month I must have spotted every day the last 2 weeks of my cycle – which itself only lasted 23 days. And my period this month only lasted a few days. Is all that a physical manifestation of my declining fertility?

So that’s where things are with me. I apologize if I alarmed anyone. When I have news to report I promise I’ll go back to posting more frequently. And I will be checking in on each of you too, because, despite what I wrote earlier, I do want to see each of you holding your own prize.